Dear Paul,

Today, Sunday, is the first day since you have been gone that I took nap midday, read a book, and had no plans whatsoever.  I wish I could say I am bored but that is not the case at all!Dear Paul

First of all, my fundraising event for Expedition Inspiration is behind me now. We put on one heck of a party, raising money for breast cancer research and exceeding our goals. I gave a meaningful but short speech. I met a number of breast cancer survivors that were gracious and appreciative of our purpose and mission. I introduced myself to a number of area physicians that I would love to have on our Board.  Most of all, I did not faint on the stage from nerves. {just kidding}

My days are almost the same as when you were alive. I hike daily with Zeke, different trails lately, too. We went up Pierce Park last week and the views were stunning. Spring is here in the Treasure Valley rather early. The fat, green leaves of bulb flowers are poking out of the ground. It seems as if tiny strands of green grass are sprouting everywhere. The trees outside are all budding, teasing me that Spring is really on its way. Not only are the robins back but so are the warblers.

It occurred to me today that life does go on and you notice it first when the phone stops ringing as often. Everyone has a life of their own, I get that. When I think of someone, I call them to reach out. I listen as they tell me their woes of what is going on in their lives. Being a good listener is also beneficial for me. I am finding ways to help others and I feel as if I can give back now, especially to those friends who were right there by my side when I was so lost after you died.

I am also realizing I can now say that you died. Before it was that you “passed away”. Weird, huh? It is so difficult to realize that you are not coming home but reality is that the home is gone now, too. I miss you cooking me breakfast and me cooking you dinner. I miss hanging out with you. I just simply miss you.

Thank you for visiting me in a dream this morning. I woke up with a smile and I am now going to sleep with a smile.

You know what? Life is good, alright. Life is good when you appreciate what you have.

#grief #listen #loss #missingyou #lifegoeson #breastcancerEI

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