I passed up going out on a Friday night to finish setting up my vegetable garden, mixing dirt and inoculated vermi char (click link to find out what it is). I went to great lengths, well dollars, to make sure my garden will be 100% organic this year, too. I am dreaming of sun ripened tomatoes, herbs gone wild with overgrowth and sweet peppers to grill. Yes, life is good.
I don’t have a sprinkler system where I live, so this means putting on a MacGyver hat and creating a watering system. It is mind boggling what is on the market now – splitters for the hose bib, timers, drip hoses, I could go on and on. Then there is the garden art section – sorry folks, no glass globes for me. If anything, I am looking for an old brass twin bed headboard and footboard to decorate my garden bed.
Ok, research on dirt and what to mix in with it done. Massive amounts of dirt mix purchased from North End Organic Nursery. Plants are now in the ground with stakes. Watering system set up. Now what? We grow.
Same goes for me in the past seven months since Paul died. My life completely changed in less than 30 seconds. I learned rather quickly that I had to make good choices on how I was going to deal with what life presented me. I could choose suffering and be a victim. That wasn’t for me…..Instead, I chose life and in the process, I woke up. I have grown so much since then.
Not that I was asleep, mind you. Paul had introduced me to Buddhism and I truly enjoyed learning about a way of life that fit me to a tee. And, I talk to God every day. I am positive I had Him in stitches laughing a time or two! I prayed I would wake up soon with clarity.
And, so I did. I woke up to what I needed at a deep time of grief. I learned that it was perfectly okay to say that I needed help. I woke up to an outpouring of love and friendships that paved the way to my healing. I was reminded how precious life is and always will be. I woke up to possibilities that I had not yet dreamed of. I learned that I am one strong lady because I was determined to not let anger enter my heart or mind. I woke up when I focused on understanding which led to letting to which led to forgiveness. I earnestly paid better attention, too. When my sister calls me, I close my laptop.
When I was in my mid-twenties, I had a neighbor that was about 10 years older than I. She remarked once, “You never stop learning!” I have always remembered that insightful remark. After all, learning leads to growth.
#grief #growth #lifechoices #lifelesson