Emotional Roller Coaster #NotWhatIExpected

I had a heck of a week the past seven days. Monday brain MRI. Tuesday meet with neurosurgeon. Then, met with veterinarian cardiologist for Zeke. I went from worried to relieved to worried to wow, all that in less than one week. The aftermath of emotions was in all directions, and yet I am completely at peace with everything.

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Tumor not growing, so why cut in to my skull, right? Neurosurgeon pointed out that I am not experiencing debilitating symptoms such as paralysis, so why do surgery? I replied because I am worried about affordable health insurance in the future. That is a lousy reason to elect to have brain surgery, isn’t it? But the bottom line is that I should not have worry about the future. The decision to put off a serious surgery brought me right back to reality with a heavy sigh of relief.

Which leads to the next dilemma. I now get to live with an uncommon and yet benign tumor in my head. What do I do about that?  It’s so unsettling, but as much as I am relieved, I am let down because I was all prepared to have the procedure. That was the beginning of the roller coaster. It took a few days to sink in my thick, stubborn skull.

I’ll tell you what I am going to do: I will reach out for that silver lining and take heart that it this not cancer. What I have learned about my life challenges is that I must look at the positive aspects of each and every situation. To get past feeling sorry for myself, I take the time to look at what is happening in my life, and sooner or later the lesson comes to light.

It’s not cancer. They are not going to drill my skull. It’s not cancer.

Besides, just last week I wrote that my diagnosis would not define me. To be honest,  my plan is to open that door of relief and going on with my life. I am considering running for a local office position in the city I live in. (Should I?) Oh, and also with the bucket list for Zeke. Happy trails, folks!

#lifelesson #nosurgery #healthmatters #behappy

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