Sometimes I have to give myself a palm to forehead slap. I have to knock the sense back into place in that stubborn mind of mine. Life can be just like a tug of war in life, especially when you are a strong person like myself. I now need more than I am asking for these days. But it’s hard to get the words out….
“I can do this!”, I say to myself until I damn near faint from physical weakness because I did too much again. Being sick is a pain in the you know what for determined individuals such as myself. I am not going to make you feel sorry for me, but suffice to say that our bodies manifest in ways that force us to slow down. Mine went on strike.
But that is a good thing because in the long run, and with the help of the excellent medical expertise we have in the Treasure Valley, I finally figured out why I was feeling lackluster. I questioned everything for a few months. Was the benign tumor getting me down? Was it my sweet dog that I thought was getting better but questioning his mannerisms? Was it the inversion? Seriously, the inversion was even suspect!
I can take care of myself with new focus, but it is my dog that cannot tell me how he feels that has me in tears. But my Zeke. Damnit, he is not getting better. We went to West Vet after hours a few weeks ago. His heart is bigger than last May when he was diagnosed with severe congestive heart failure. He was doing well but our ER visit concluded a change we were unaware of. I am not sure I am ready for this after all.
Change can be daunting for us when we think everything is going “just fine”. How do we deal with change when it comes to loved ones? When we have family or friends diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, do we mean what we say? Will be there present to help? Or will we allow fear to make us retreat?
When we are faced with a roadblock, what do we do? Do you ask for help or do you retreat? We cannot be afraid to call out and ask for help. Little do we know that we all have some kind of village that will step up to the plate. You just have to ask.
I felt I would be strong enough to be present in Zeke’s process, and I know I can do this. But I am going to need help. I just wanted you all to know that.
#lifelesson #askforhelp #whatisaroundthecorner