It Really Is All About Your Attitude #AttitudeDancing

I am going to go out on that limb I never wanted to climb on that avocado tree in my aunt and uncle’s front yard in Pico Rivera in Southern California. I was always so envious of the boys that would just keep climbing higher. What held me back?

But just last night I realized I was the one that climbed far higher in life. So, why am I still questioning that? Not that I surpassed them job-wise. Heck, those boys were my brothers and my cousins. They all, every single one of them, had or still have amazing success in their lives. I don’t want to diss their success, but damnit us women must speak out these days, women from both sides of the aisle I might add….

So, I have been in the lousiest of moods the past weeks (okay, really the past few months) and this weekend was my reckoning of what the heck and why the heck. I received an email Sunday evening that pushed me into the realm of what was ahead in my life. The answer could have literally done a face palm but instead, it slapped me. Thanks, I needed that!

The tiny house I live in was the perfect cocoon to dwell in after Paul died. I am going to tell all of you, it really does take a full year to recover from the death of a very close loved one. The rest of the time is up to you. The walls of my tiny house closed in on me this spring and it took a few months for me to really understand that.

When I returned from Costa Rica, I found myself single again. Okay, whatever. I was hellbent on making the most of it. I sold the teak bookcases Paul and I purchased and replaced them with open shelving from a local store. This required room rearrangement. Voila! I was determined to have a fun chick summer, and I did.

In the long run, moving furniture was not quite what I needed or wanted healing-wise. Dang it.

Fast forward to late this summer, and I soon realized I was not going out into my covered patio for meals or coffee or relaxing as I did after I first moved into the tiny house. I realized I was staying inside far too much. Finger tapping ensued. WHY!!??

Because I have overstayed my welcome.

I changed along with the eventual vibe of the neighborhood. Don’t get me wrong, this area is the very definition of vibrant. But it is no longer my gig. I miss my Boise foothills trails, the peace and quiet of nature.

And, I evolved in course of my grief. A woman at Art in the Park asked me on Saturday if my grey hair made me more confident. LOL She clearly doesn’t know me! But her statement churned the chain to force me to settle up with myself. {heavy sigh}

I am moving this fall, moving to a larger place I will call a palace. From 480 square feet to 1,200 square feet. A real garage with an opener! Green grass that is supported by a sprinkler system! Back to being closer to the foothills trails that have always been my comfort zone. A guest room for my sister, finally! I will be in the Collister neighborhood, rich with history.

I will find a new home and take that step to move on. It’s time to admit that.

#attitudeiseverything #getittogether #timetomoveon #lifelesson

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